To assist those seeking God’s wisdom for a successful marriage, we have compiled a list of the best books for Christian marriages.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Love is one of the major driving forces in the world. Many people are motivated by love, which is why the romantic genre is so popular—people are naturally drawn to love.
Marriage is a beautiful institution that requires love to thrive. Unfortunately, many people today are afraid of marriage due to the high number of failed marriages. I believe many marriages fail because people refuse to accept God’s wisdom concerning it. God instituted marriage, and we should seek His guidance to succeed in it.
Model Marriage
“Model Marriage” by Dag Heward-Mills is one of the best books for Christian marriages. This marriage counseling handbook covers the majority of what a married couple needs to know about marriage.
Dag Heward-Mills is a bestselling author who has written over 100 books on various Christian topics. His extensive years of experience counseling married couples have been distilled into the “Model Marriage” book.
“Model Marriage” teaches couples the importance of having God at the center of their marriage. The author explains that the closer each partner gets to God, the closer they become to each other. Marriage is meant to draw us closer to God, not away from Him. The book also highlights the three aspects of love that must be present for any marriage to experience happiness:
1. Agape love: This unconditional love allows one to love their partner despite their flaws.
2. Phileo: This brotherly and sisterly love fosters genuine friendship within the marriage.
3. Eros: This passionate and romantic love is essential for a fulfilling marriage.
All three aspects of love must be present for a marriage to experience true happiness. “Model Marriage” also provides many other keys to elevate your marriage, including discussions on sex in marriage and how couples can improve their sex life. This book is a valuable resource for any married couple looking to strengthen their relationship.
Saving your marriage before it starts
“Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts,” written by Les and Leslie Parrott, is a valuable resource for both married and unmarried couples. It is particularly recommended for those who are not yet married, as it helps them understand the realities of marriage and the essential questions to ask before beginning their journey.
This book is also widely used by counselors and churches to prepare newly engaged couples for their future together. With over a million copies sold, it has helped many engaged and newlywed couples achieve lifelong love in marriage.
“Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” helps newlyweds uncover the misconceptions about marriage. Many marriages fail due to the unrealistic expectations couples bring into the relationship. This book aids engaged couples in managing their expectations and correcting misconceptions, preventing future disappointments.
Through reading, couples learn about the importance of communication, conflict resolution, and financial management in marriage. “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” is a transformative book for every newlywed, married, and engaged couple.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
“Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” written by Dr. John Gray, offers a classic guide to understanding the opposite sex. Marriages sometimes fail because both partners are speaking different languages.
This book draws a parallel to the Tower of Babel: the construction caught God’s attention because everyone involved had one mind and spoke the same language. To stop the project, God made the builders speak different languages, leading to arguments and halting the construction. Similarly, building a marriage cannot succeed if both parties speak different languages and fail to understand each other.
A key point of the book is that men and women communicate differently and need to understand each other better. Dr. John Gray explains that men are logical beings while women are emotional beings. A man should not relate to a woman as he would to another man, and vice versa, as this leads to confusion and conflict in marriage.
“Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” highlights the importance of recognizing and bridging these differences to improve marital communication and harmony. To better understand your husband or wife, make it a point to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by Dr John Gray.
The Marriage Covenant: A Biblical secret for a love that lasts
“The Marriage Covenant,” written by Derek Prince, is a powerful guide to building a strong, resilient marriage. Derek Prince, one of the greatest teachers of the 20th century, greatly impacted many believers through his teachings. In “The Marriage Covenant,” Prince explains that it is possible to overcome marital difficulties and emerge stronger by following God’s plan for marriage. Marriage covenant by Derek Prince is one of the best books for Christian Marriages.
The key to such a marriage is for the couple to understand and commit to God’s intent for marriage. God’s design has always been for the husband to be the head and the wife to be the helper. The husband’s priority should be to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
As stated in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Conversely, the wife’s main duty is to submit to her husband, as instructed in Ephesians 5:22-23: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.”
Prince emphasizes that marriage is a covenant, and for a marriage to be blessed by God, both husband and wife must fulfill their parts of the covenant. Couples who read and apply the advice in “The Marriage Covenant” can transform their marriages from bitterness to bliss. A happy marriage is indeed possible.
Love the way to victory
“Love: The Way to Victory,” written by Kenneth E. Hagin, is a wonderful book that, although not exclusively for married couples, teaches us a great deal about love. Love is crucial for a successful marriage.
There are two types of love: human love and God’s love. Human love is often conditional, lasting only as long as the other person meets certain expectations. In contrast, God’s love, known as agape, is unconditional and persists despite the faults and issues that couples may see in each other.
Kenneth E. Hagin explains that God’s kind of love is a fruit that one develops, which is different from a gift. Loving someone despite their faults mirrors how God loves us. God loved us while we were still sinners and chose to die for us. This agape love is crucial for a long-lasting marriage. It is the love that forgives and covers many wrongdoings.
Without agape love, both partners may harbor bitterness and offense in their marriage. As described in 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is always patient; love is always kind; love is never envious or arrogant with pride. Nor is she conceited, and she is never rude; she never thinks just of herself or ever gets annoyed. Is never glad with sin; she’s always glad to side with truth, and pleased that truth wins.”
Developing this kind of love is essential for a couple to build a strong, enduring relationship.
Love and respect
“Love & Respect” is a book written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs that explores the importance of proper communication in marriage. In “Love & Respect,” Dr. Eggerichs introduces the concept of the “crazy cycle,” which occurs when there is a negative communication pattern in a marriage.
This cycle happens when one partner does something that feels disrespectful to the other, prompting a negative response, which in turn perpetuates the negative cycle.
The key to a successful marriage is breaking this negative cycle of communication. To do so, both partners must understand each other’s needs. By showing love and respect to one another, a couple can break the negative cycle and strengthen their marriage.
According to Dr. Eggerichs, a woman’s primary need is love, while a man’s primary need is respect. These needs are fundamental and not merely wants; without love and respect, a marriage is likely to falter.
“Love & Respect” is filled with practical advice and exercises to help couples cultivate a positive communication cycle in their marriage. The book offers valuable insights into the essential elements needed to make a marriage work, providing couples with the tools to enhance their relationship.
Five Love languages: The Secretes to love that lasts
“Five Love Languages” is a book written by Dr. Gary Chapman, a New York Times bestseller with over 5 million copies sold. In this book, Dr. Chapman explains that everyone perceives love differently. Even though love is crucial in marriage, a spouse can feel unloved if love is not communicated in a way they understand.
Dr. Chapman outlines the five different love languages and emphasizes the importance of identifying, understanding, and speaking your spouse’s primary love language.
The five love languages Dr. Chapman describes are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. By learning and using your spouse’s love language, you can express love in a way that they truly understand and appreciate. The book provides practical steps for couples to love each other in ways that are meaningful to them.
Dr. Gary Chapman also hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio show called “A Love Language Minute,” which can be heard on more than 150 radio stations. Additionally, he has another show called “Building Relationships with Gary Chapman,” where he helps couples understand the importance of love languages in marriage.
Conclusion on the best books for Christian marriages
Maintaining a long-lasting marriage requires effort from both partners. God never intended marriage to be a battleground or a place of constant conflict and hurt. His original intent for marriage was unity and happiness. Many marriages end in divorce because couples are unwilling to follow God’s design for marriage.
According to this design, the husband is to be the head, and the wife is to be his helper. Conflicts often arise when the wife struggles to submit to her husband.
The books discussed in this article are valuable resources for couples seeking to improve their marriage. It is possible to build a marriage that withstands life’s various challenges. Your marriage can and should endure if it is based on God’s plan. As a couple, make it a point to read all the books outlined in the article. Doing so will help you understand your spouse better and learn how to be a better husband or wife.